So I promised my husband I'd lose weight last year (a lot of weight) so I be ready to carry our first child. Mind you he has never pressured me to lose weight! Well it's been nearly 6 months since I made this promise and minus maybe 3-5 lbs I am still practically where I started. It is sooo frustrating to have had all that time pass and not have gotten anywhere. I told him to encourage me to go to the gym and eat right but he is one of those naturally skinny people that actually could put good use to all this weight I want to lose. He gave me an insurance card today and told me it isn't active till april. So I said "welp you better not knock me up till april then" He said well you still have 80 lbs to lose. This started some hateful banter in my head, even though I asked him to help me not give up my goals!
I can not help but feel like if I can't get healthy I don't deserve to be a mother. If I can't sacrifice the junk food and a couple hours a week to work out how can I think I can change my life forever for a baby? I want to be fit and healthy even if I am never blessed with a child. How do I get over the hump of want to's and get to the will do's? I just want to feel proud of how I've treated my body and know what it feels like to be fit. Maybe I'll get there! I really want to get there!
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